Dismissed at 5pm today n sp ps to let xiong wait for me at the bus stop for like 40 min HAHA!!! Met gabriel & ludi on the way and we went to Botak Jones for dinner and after tht basketBALL!!! 2 weeks ago i hurt my finger while playing n it swells until nw. Recovered alot already but just nw while playing wif a grp of china adults, hurt my finger again n there it goes swelling bigger again. Lol. How long do i have to wait to play basketball sia. Well well tml no sch so have to stay at home to study haha.

Stayed back in school to "study", only had enough time to finish my maths n edit my project. Lol. Was suppose to do one of my project today but well, my teammate ended up playing dota again so didnt do much though. Sigh. After a while gab joined me and we went some other place to study cos it was too noisy. Then had lunch wif CF de bpmc ppl haha, my church clique! Haha.
Decided to take up driving theory and maybe practical during the march holiday wif vian. Budden my mum say she wont be able to afford a car so i'm thinking wad is it for den, tht i take up the driving lesson. I seriously find this stupid. Hmm but who knows, maybe it would just turns out handy someday. Just worried if i really gotten the driving licence den no car to drive den i may forget hw to drive a car as time goes by haha. Wonder if i should also go for the mission trip in march haha. Well ppl reading my blog! Do anyone of u knows how to make my own blog private and how to invite ppl to read?

Dono wad happen today but my body started to swell suddenly while on my way to school. Luckily i haven board the bus, went back home to rest, skipped lecture and manage to make it in time for my presentation. Dono why but my body sure is weak. So many prob. Dam. Sigh..

One of my lecturer was saying today that we poly students who get into uni will compete with majority of JC students and they may be at a advantage, as in much more capable than us in adapting to the studies there. Wad's this man!? We poly students are nth!? WTH!!! Not like we cannot go jc but we chose to go poly. Wad's the big deal man. The more i hear this the more i wana strive n get into uni to compete with them. Must prove that this is wrong. I believe we're just as good. I must get into UNI!!! I guess at least now i roughly know wad i wan le. Maybe SAF Music and drama just isnt realistic. Have to give a serious thought about this.

Although birthday was over but still, received presents my IS group members and a group of my bro n sis in christ haha. Thank you peeps! :)

Can finally feel the stress of my final exam now esp when i don understand wad the lecturers are teaching. Sure makes me worried. Try to read myself but still very confused. Ask lecturer n she said it was easy and didnt teach me. Lecturers sure is good. Getting money into pocket and don really need to do anything. Reading off from ppt and call it teaching. Wth! N thinking of coming sat again - PA. Stress lvl going higher n higher. Felt like giving up on the concert liao. Sigh. Been thinking alot of it this few weeks. Should i give up or should i not? I wana go Uni so i have to study hard and score at least 3.5 for GPA, i wana get into the SAF Music & Drama, so i have to work hard and go PA to train myself. Wa. Feel like i should just give up on going into music and drama. Stress stress stress. So many troubles!

Had a dream yesterday night. One good and one bad. Haha. I dreamt that i got into the director's list and got top in one of my module. Haha. Bad is back to PA and kana scolded. LOL. Hope the director's list de dream will come true haha.

My birthday today haha! Hmm felt great with so many happy birthday smses when i woke up. My classmates asked me, no1 asked u out? lol. No ppl to celebrate wif u? haha no gf to acc u for ur birthday? Haha. Dono to say haha. Oh yea my clique celebrated my birthday wif me during break time. 3 lovely n delicious little cutie cake :) Appreciate that lots. And of cos it sure is nice having ppl tagging my blog posting comment to me to greet me happy birthday. Sure is nice. Just once a year nia haha. I guess this is the first year i ever receive so many birthday greetings from my friends. Such warm friendship haha. Dismissed from school at 5pm today, wana go other place also hard lol so late liao. Tired from school. HAha.

18 years old now liao. 1 year older again. Birthday wishes, hmm i think i have a lot haha. Well well already at home now le, i guess my parents will be bringing me outside for dinner later to celebrate my brithday. Hopes nth crop up.

This time round de common test and exam hmm i think i did quite well and i'm really satisfied wif it :) I guess now if somehow i can score for my upcoming remaining de test, projects and lastly exam, i should be able to do better than last sem. Well thk u lord for blessing me wif ur strength. Haha.

Went to the student lounge, ourspace@72 yesterday n today to do my project. Actually i realised something about ppl whom i teamed wif them for projects. They are able to do a good piece of work just that whether they are serious or not. I hope we can all work hard together. I think most of my classmates really have the potential to do well just tht some lack of motivation. Well well this sat will be my violin test and also back to PA again. Sigh. Already practised the pieces at home liao, hope sat when i rush over there, i can play well. Luckily i don really have a lot of homework if not i dont think i would be able to go for practice and that would means i cant participate in the concert as well. Still struggling with this matter, should i invite frenzs to go for the concert? What if last min i didnt participate in the concert? This sure is tough. Haha

Oh ya, something nice about going to the student lounge is erm i got to see a few of my frenzs. Met nicholas on both day and i played CS wif them n his frenz till 6pm before i go for my cca. It sure was fun. A game of CS after doing my project. Sure feel more relaxed after the game hAha.

Gotten back my BF test ytd, it wa my first test. This module is the one that i always say it's the only module which i totally cannot understand but all thanksto god, scored pretty well overall. Really surprised and really glad bout this.
Today while going back wif jabez, saw one guy walking the same way as us, so i just turned to look at him. Guess wad!? It's my pri frenz who lived behind my blk last time. After 4 years of promise he finally moved back to the same flat. So happy to see him again. Time really passes very fast, just when i realised it, it's been 4 years since we last met. Just before i move house, i get to see him. Praise the lord. Fancy telling me he will move back but he kept me waited for 4 years. I already take it as he will never return but yea, in the end he did. And i'm glad bout it. SO yea, went over to his house to check out the house i been to 4 years ago. Didnt really change much haha. Maybe tonight then i bring him around the area den if i have the time. Haha. Thank you lord :)

My dad couldnt get home in time ytd and go for service so i had to go alone. Met wei bin n sat together wif qiwei, xue qian n amos in the church. Decided to go to song heng house for movie marathon last min and stayed there wif the others over night. It was fun haha. But kinda tired now. Left his house at around 12 plus and slept after i reached home until nw. Kinda feel the blockage or something in my face again, dono hw to explain haha. Hope it wont swell.
Tml have to go back to school liao. Arhx! so sian, have to chiong for concert & final year exam. HAha. Still a long way to go b4 i have my long holiday haha.

Things just didnt turn out like wad i expected. Thought after joinning strings le my sight rate can get better and that i can go back to PA, nt feeling i'm a nobody. But well, today went back, kana scolded wif ppl looking at why i cant play. WA! Cant take it. Conductor scolded me also lol, next practice wana hear me play the most difficult piece out. That's the dai jia i have to pay for joinning payco. It's never that easy to stay in the orchestra esp for some1 like me hAha. And because i cant play mon have to go back practise lol, hope everything will turn out well. I wish i could somehow shine a little bit too. Sigh. Went back for the first time den kana so many scoldings. Worse thing is when president told me: "See! Small kids(pri sch kids) like them also practise until so much better than u liao." den another girl say:" pls don say till we're nt as good as him, we're always better." LOL. WA LORD i'm so disappointed now la. Sian diao. Sigh. Hope everything will go on well from tml. Cello cello cello!!! Gives me so many troubLES! HA.

Before going to church, had my breakfast n there goes the illness again. Face swell. I feel so burdened, it's like i'm carrying a time bomb which may just triggered anytime. Dono when it will swell again and i wonder wad will i do if same thing occur when school reopen. Really worried bout this. Went to see doctor but the doctor wasnt able to give me a firmed ans and he just merely gave me the medicine for swelling. He wasnt able to tell wad really is the prob but just said it may be a blockage inside. He asked me to drink more water but after so long le, this illness just comes back again. Wana go see other doctor again but there goes my mum, saying it's useless etc. How long do i have to stand this illness. Sigh. Somemore recently, i kept feeling like hmm suan suan de gan jue on the part that swell. Hope everything will end soon.

Woke up early in the morning to reach church by 8.30am. Waited for the other 2 performer w/o knowing the choir is actually already inside the music room. I think until now the xu mu si niang still dono i was early ba. Haha. Felt so weird? Was punctual but because i stayed at the main hall waiting so no1 knows i was there. Lol. Well this time round is the only performance whereby we didnt have any rehearsal or combined practice and i just perform straight on the stage. Thank God everything went off smoothly :)
While waiting for the other 2, i saw one of my senior who's also call jie ying. Haha. SO surprised to see my ex schoolmate in the same service as i. Feel so happy. Supposingly there's another ex schoolmate in this church but he's at the english service. Today den i know she actually came a few times for the service le. Hope she will stay in this church :)

Ytd went downtown wif norman to take a look at crumpler bags but i cant decide on the colour i want so i didnt buy. Hmm i had a good chat wif norman hAha. Anyway christmas's just around the corner le. Haha. My favourite festival! :) Well hope santa gives me wad i wan hAha.

Last week while chatting wif the "Pentagon of Trust", some were saying I can think so positively. Well regarding this i really dono wad to say. If I don do this, i guess i would have gone crazy by now. Too many things kept inside my mind. Haha. Tml de camp is already a burden to me le. To go or not? To think that I dono majority of the orchestra members and that this camp they will be focusing on the practice for the upcoming concert in esplanade, i really dono if it's ok if i don go. Performing in the esplanade is a really good opportunity for me, it could be just once in a life time. I'm really troubled with this. The concert will be held near to my final year exam. GOD HELP ME!!!! ARHX!!!

Went to see my church member for the last day. Felt like i should reach out to her daughter. Wonder if i'm too kapo or wad. Feel sad for her. Well, i pray tht god will bless her n grant her strength n wisdom in wadeva she do. Just feel like reaching out to ppl in need, of course that would be if i'm in the mood, away from schoolwork stress etc and tht i'm free. Well well, recently i just feel tht some ppl in my church is mentally n spiritually weak nw. Hmm. Sigh. Hope all this will end soon.
Well well had a good chat wif william till 11pm ++, well feel better wif ppl knowing hw i feel. And after hearing some of our church members going to study medical courses after NS from william, i felt like i'm motivated to study hard to do my best n get into NTU or NUS and get into a good course also. Hmm tml have to go school again n chiong project den afternoon got violin practice again. Whole day packed liao. Still deciding if i should go for music camp this fri. Sigh sigh!! Somehow, i just feel happy to be in BPMC.

Typed a whole chunk of words and explorer just suddenly hang n have to re type nw. Lol. Well bAck fR0m aLpHa cAmP lE. G0t to kN0w s0 mAnY cHuRch mEmBers aNd g0t s0 mUcH cl0sEr to tHem dUrIng tHe cAmP. EvEn thOse wH0m i sEld0m tAlKed to dE, cHaRmaIne, aPpr0aChEd mE n aSkEd mE t0 "t0Ng xIaO" wItH tHeM dUriNg tHe lAst dAy 0f cAmP. I cAn rEally fEel thE b0nD tHeRe lE. ReAlly lUv tHiS aS it gAvE me l0tS of cHaNCe t0 inTeRacT wiTh my cHuRcH mEmBers eSp "Winter" hAha. ThIs cAmP iS rEallY bEnEfIcIal aNd i eNj0Yed bEiNg iN tHiS cAmp. My gRp mEmBErs wEre rEally fUn n fRiEndLy t00. But wEll, i'm liKe a littLe sIck n0w, lUcKilY i'm bAcK h0Me n0w to rEjUvEnAte mY hEaLtH hAha. Well i gUess tHr0uGh tHis cAmP, i fInAllY knoW wHeRe i bEl0Ng hAha. N0w bAck fRom cAmp mEaNs pR0jEct agAin. StResS sUre c0Mes n g0 dE sIa. ReAlly tIrEd n0w, gUesS i jUst hAve t0 g0 rEst le bA.

Seems like i going crazy soon. Already so stressed up with my proj and test le now come a new prob. Face turned swollen all of a sudden again and had to skipped BF lecture n Bizca test. I was so worried and scared, dono hw to face ppl wif tht swollen face. My mum didnt wan me to go see the doctor cause she it must be last time when i was biten by something n the poison is still inside. But cause i didnt go n see the doctor, while going school today, i was dam worried it will swell again. Due to me missing the test, that PCB wan me to skip my BF tutorial class tml just to take the test n my BF lecturer say if i were to skip i wont be able to catch up cause he will be revising wif us wad will come out on mon. I dono wad to do, been calling PCB from ytd but he's never sitting in his office wonder wad's his extension no. for. He demand an MC from me n here i m w/o any mc. Sigh. Dam troubled. Memorise the ITL already memorise like hell liao now come this prob again. My BF is my weakest module how can i skip the lesson wif such reason sia.
Just hope some1 out there will tell me, "i understand how u feel" aww how sweet can it be. WIf some more sweet sweet words HahA! Think too much liao.

Skipped lessons today and stayed at home to study. It was indeed a wise choice. Haha.. Feel more relieved after studying ITL and think i may have time to go gym wif andy later but the thought of business finance makes me sick. As long as i think of BF, i feel worried n down again. Dono y, maybe it's because it's the only module wif no tips, no hints and somemore nth to revise on except the textbook. Past year paper also no solutions den tutorial teacher only go through, didnt write down ans for me to refer again so i can say it's the worse thing i ever met wif. Really dono wad to do. Hope God will find me a solution soon so i will no longer be stress n worried bout it but happy. It's gonna be tough this 2 weeks wif so many project to finish n test to study. I hope my grp n i can finish our ITL project soon. Dragged too long already.

"God is always by side guiding u along ur path, he knows and understand hw u're feeling every moment and he is sharing ur burden also w/o u knowing" It's so nice to know this sentence. Sure will calm me down. Well recently dam stress with work, think of project liao den stress again n frustrated wif 1 of my teammate but when i talk to him on phone i feel normal again. Guess i'm too soft hearted. Sian. Too soft hearted nt good uh... Well well this week got 4 tests coming up n next week common test le, meaning i have to face business finance. It would be a really big challenge for me. May god guide me.

Same things always happen to me on friday. Usually ppl should be happy on fri, last day of school for the week whereas for my case, i'm like having my weakest module, business finance, as my last lesson of the day. Everytime after this lesson i will feel so dam stress and sad. Dono why. I just don understand this module at all. Solutions given by ppl are ask lecturer, get notes from frenz, ask ur frenz etc. So today i tried asking the teacher, so lucky that he also wana revise wif us for our test and allow us to ask him qn. Although i took the opportunity to ask him budden i still don understand at all. Tried to get tutorials ans from senior who lent me her notes last sem. She didnt wana lend it to me this time round so i guess i have used up all my options. I guess the only choice now is to force myself to understand this module wif god's help. I just feel so helpless wif this module esp when i have no accounting background. Well i hope everything will turns out fine in the end and also i don wana feel so stress but i just cant control it.
Gotten back my ComToolkit first test back le, dam disappointing, the lecturer said i can only gotten a C, even after moderation i wont be able to get even a C+. This sure is a big blow to me afterall i aimed to score well for IS this sem cause last sem it was one of my module and IS that pulls me down. Thoughts just kept running through my mind. If only i can just lead a carefree life.

Was supposed to go gym with andy today but he was busy with his project and i'm also too. So in the end i stayed at home to finish my body part of my project. Luckily janice released us earlier so that i can go home earlier and complete that dam tedious ITL project. Although i'm relieved to finish the most tedious part of my ITL project budden thinking of the number of projects i still have, around 5 more if i'm nt wrong, i felt so stress. This sem is really tough, no time to even take a break. I wonder hw long i can keep up with my exercises programmes with some of my friends. Still got music part to focus. Too many commitments. Suffocating already. Well hope i can somehow relax myself. Guess is partly because of the results i wish to get makes me so stress.